Wine is the metaphor of our lives. It holds beautiful lessons. If ever we needed a solution to our problems, it is that we aren’t taking the time to see what wine teaches us. Just when you think it is a simple thing. It glides in and covers the moment in deeper and true understanding.
Fair warning ~ I am surrounded by men in my life and this venting on the page includes a bitter mood. Hang in there, though. In the end, the wine lessons come through.
I am forever searching for a happy ending.
…..The week had promise. All had mostly gone smoothly and I felt pretty accomplished. I had pushed hard to get a lot done but later in the week, my new male co-worker had an issue with one of my decisions and the phone-call of emotional upset was more than I could handle.
I decided to feign illness and skip the following day’s meeting. It was my way of setting boundaries and gaining enough breathing room to feel strong again. They say men are simple, not emotional, only logical, and tough.
Yeah…..I have raised boys now. I will tell you that none of those things are true. They just like to say that to keep us off their scent.
To add to that complex work-week disagreement, my husband’s career had shifted him back to home almost every day and I was going stir-crazy. It was so hard to be at home all the time with him underfoot. Men are high maintenance, exhausting, and take up a lot of emotional energy. They are definitely a full time job.
Anyone who thinks that a successful man did anything all by himself needs to look a little harder because almost always there is one, if not several more women, that have helped him get where he is.
In many ways.
Men that know how to get work out of women have a wealth that is unmatched.
So, yes, a full time job. They don’t think they are until you try ignoring them when they are around. I swear they exaggerate sickness because they so desperately long to be nurtured like when they were a child. The forever longing for mama.
I happily had given a lot of myself for many years. Normally, I had the mid-day hours to run my own work and schedule but now that he was home all the time, I had hit a point where I needed some space. He was used to running his own schedule and then coming home to attentive love.
My inner-core was seething in bitterness.
To be clear, I love men. I have always understood men and really appreciated all they have to deal with. I would gladly choose to sit and have a conversation with a man at a coffee shop over anyone else. Growing up, I was always a guy’s gal. I think the pre-menopause hormones are starting to get to me. Or, yes, probably Daddy issues…..again, apologies for my blunt venting…….
So, with a tight fist clenched to my bitter grapes of frustration, I took a drive out to the mountains of Virginia, away from the concrete urban walls, towards a winery I had really wanted to try.
The drive through the mountainous area is the best part. Virginia is still working its way into wine excellence. So much still needs to be done. The humidity, rain, and wet soils make it hard for the grapes to truly ripen consistently which gives the after taste too much green. The lack of limestone makes quality growing plots challenging to find. The wine-making hasn’t fully shifted yet to accommodate these growing conditions, although some big players are now in the area.
Michael Shaps is one that is determined to take it to the next level. His name is on almost everything now in Virginia so I knew I needed to go see for myself.
As remote as it feels when getting further from the city, it really isn’t that far for Northern Virginia to take a day-trip. The key is to set GPS way ahead because you do lose it through the winding roads.
I spent the drive mulling over my frustrations with these men. I had raised boys so I understood the ambition, the aggressive need for control, the deep emotion behind the mask, the obsession with systems and mechanics of things, the noise, and the seemingly constant destruction.
And their never ending love for their moms.
The big question is, when is it a red flag. When does it mean to walk away? And when does it mean to just set a boundary, breathe, and enter back into the fold as a balancing, cooling measure to their heat.
The further I got out into the mountains, the more my mind and heart settled.
Finally finding the place, the sign read, Michael Shaps Wineworks. I drove up the long, beautiful drive with rolling hillsides of vines toward the stately, welcoming house on the hill.
It was a quiet day that day. Only the young man at the tasting bar and the older lady walking through preparing for a big party later. Lucky for me, the young man was a charming graduate of UVA who let this pre-menopausal woman feel attended to for the hour. It really does matter who works for you. The wrong interaction can set a buyer and his word-of-mouth power back for years. The wineries that employ people-loving people really get it right.
He entertained me through the tasting as I peppered him with questions about his time in school. He was a a business grad yet his most rewarding class was poetry. He was getting ready to combine his business skills and love for wine with an online wine investment company called Vint. He reminded me of my kids and I was so thankful for the moment to give him a few tidbits of Mom wisdom as well.
The tasting started with a white wine called Odette. This wine was named in honor of the winemaker’s mother which felt oddly coincidental. Here I was having a very hard life season as a woman and Michael Shaps saved the day with a crisp and refreshing Virginia made blend in ode to his forever artistically inspired mother.
The entire tasting was very nice. Wineworks uses a lot of French techniques. He trained years ago in Burgundy. He uses sur lie aging with native yeasts, is more delicate in the crushing and fermentation process, uses neutral French oak and lets the wine have more time in barrel if needed. He is very careful in the vineyard, many of his sites are on limestone; a studious, determined, consistent, persistent guy. His work is evident in how well he is bringing out Virginia terroir.
Recently, I read the book “Good to Great.” After analysis of many companies that became great they noticed a significant trend in the data on the type of leader that succeeds. You have to read the book in full, but Michael Shaps hits that personality profile almost exactly. A man that takes all that energy and pushes it into diligent work alongside perspective analysis with a calm and centered way of managing his workforce. These attributes are key components to taking one’s company from Good to Great.
I’m sure his employees have had rough days, too, working for a man with that level of commitment to quality. Hopefully over the years, nothing a little wine, venting, and a day-trip of breathing room can’t fix.
I would assume, as his rise in Virginia is quite notable.
I settled on the Odette, L. Scott, and the Bourgogne Red to take home. He sells his Burgundy wines there too as his daughter runs his other winery on location in Burgundy, France.
Without tasting first, I also decided to purchase the Burgundy Rose bubbly (Cremant) and take my food plate to sit and enjoy across the room. My phone rang and I went ahead contentedly, cozy in the beautifully decorated sitting area, and took the unexpected call of my OTHER (male) co-worker, who was always having trouble as well.
We vented through the frustrations. With Rose bubbly in hand, this was the perfect way to have a weekly meeting. And once through our needed talk…I felt I had gotten back to center.
I wandered around the property a bit to see. It was so nice. I asked the lady about weddings but she said they didn’t do them anymore. Too much work. I thought that was so funny. As it is true that marriage is a LOT of work. My priest says it is getting me to heaven…but we shall see.
The grounds, tasting room, and views were perfect. I was hoping if I lingered around enough, I would run into the winemaker so I could ask him a few questions but he wasn’t there that day. My biggest take away was the amazing party room upstairs. Oh, how I wished I had a need to throw a grand party.
Reluctantly, I drove out and away from that respite in the Blue Hills….back down winding roads towards the city. Towards home where my heart is needed. Where bitter clusters of grapes needed attention to ripen a bit more and make good wine.
I thought long and hard on how much Michael Shaps has put into this venture over all these years. The days he must have questioned himself. The moments where he felt things weren’t coming together. The risks he took at the beginning of each growing season every year. The partnerships and the dynamics. The attention to detail. The deep need for breathing room and boundaries but the lack of flexibility to truly get that when pursuing a higher calling.
I, once again, gave the men in my life some grace. I needed to think like Shaps and take all the lack of consistent ripening of grape clusters and use better techniques to make it work. It had been an amazing day and I left determined that in the not too distant future we would find a reason to throw a celebratory party in that pretty room upstairs and be glad we pushed through the tough stuff into excellence.
Sending Wine Home 
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