Sending Wine Home

“You are so condescending!” She ripped into me as I tried to set my boundaries on her power moves of questioning me when I did something with other people instead of her.

She was one of my dearest friends. I had told her just about everything. Deepest secretive vulnerabilities that if she told, I would be so embarrassed. My nervous system was rocked as she blocked me on everything and refused to talk. I had tried explaining myself but she was having none of it. I had made her feel too bad. And now, it was my turn to feel pain.

I couldn’t believe her biggest insult to me was that I was condescending. I didn’t feel like I was condescending. She said I gave out unsolicited advice. Really?

I decided to think on that more and maybe work to become a better person even though I had lost a long time friend. I didn’t see my way as condescending. I just wanted to be smart. I wanted to know things and tell other people about things. I loved education and thought other people wanted to hear these things I had learned.

I guess it came across as “know it all.” Not really realizing that my deepest insecurity was that I wasn’t smart enough.

It took me a few weeks but the anxiety finally left my body and I figured “c’est la vie” on whether she ruined my reputation with gossip about my true, behind the scenes world.

I always thought it was so interesting to learn deeper, more complex info or good tips on things. Especially if it was short and sweet. You know those simple things in life that make such a huge difference but aren’t that complex to know and remember? Those are my fave.

Like, how cooking up onions and garlic in a pan is all you really need to have a nice dinner flavor. Or, a little pepper on top of slow cooked food is just enough for Michelin level recipes.

After months of studying so many wines, my teacher assured me that the next area of France would be right up my alley. He knew I struggled to enjoy the whites and rose’s. He knew I was a deep, rich red wine girl. And Cotes du Rhone was where we were headed.

I had never heard of that at all. Sounded complex and ridiculous. If it was good, wouldn’t we have heard about it in general? But, this is a well kept secret among wine friends. He told me to pick up the St. Cosme Red and to cook up a nice steak dinner.

It was still on my mind that I had lost my friend. It was hard to celebrate and enjoy a nice evening with a heavy heart. I tried to distract myself with agricultural lessons. I figured I would write her a long letter soon and try to amend. It is good to rebuild bridges even if you feel like they are burned too badly.

Cotes du Rhone or CdR for short is full of little villages that make incredible wine. It’s close to the blue water and heat but just north enough to give a little bit of temperance. This is red wine land. Fiery, Spicy, Exciting. The northern part is focused on Syrah grape and the southern more focused on Grenache. There is an old saying that Burgundy is the trousers and Bordeaux are the cufflinks. I say Cotes du Rhone is the boots.

Hardworking, sturdy, reliable, value-based, authentic, rustic.

When I finally sat down to enjoy, it was the rustic that made me swoon. From the first sip, I could taste the combination of sun and earth across the fruit. The deep tannins and smooth layers. I had found the red I was searching for.

Isn’t it funny how rustic is so enamoring. If you are like me, I am not a dirt person. I can’t handle the tough stuff of life. When things are bad, I run. I like to avoid the chores at home and go to the library. I often don’t confront an argument unless I have to. I can’t handle if things are too messy. I fall apart. But, in wine or food….the rustic charm is so satisfying.

I didn’t end up making amends with my friend in the long run. My first letter to her helped for a bit but it wasn’t long after that she shut things down again over a small, open and honest conversation that she felt insulted. I decided the second time to just let it all go. She and I were on different paths. I took it as a learning lesson and to just trust that all would be ok this way.

I did learn, though, to be less “know-it-all” telling others everything I knew and more curious to learn about them. I did learn that most people know a lot more than you realize and to not offer info unless specifically asked. I also learned that just because you haven’t heard of something before, even if you think you are well read, doesn’t mean it isn’t amazing.

Life should be boots, trousers, and cufflinks.